nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

manfuckyopride:

weird cock but ok

latenitecrushthoughts:

“I wish I was the one you were calling baby”

9:09 pm

10.18.18

ohthestarsinhereyes:

I want to be someone’s favorite person. I want someone to wake up thinking about me. I want someone to be excited to text me to say good morning. I want someone to melt when they see me. I want someone to wrap me in their arms and never want to let go. I want someone to kiss me softly and look at me like I’m their entire world. I just want to mean something to someone and I want someone to mean something to me.

enbyofdionysos:

zooiboo:

me remembering all of the personal information I’ve shared with ppl I no longer talk to:

inkskinned:

i woke up bad, and i woke up bad, and i woke up like oh-this-again. the worst was the wearing-down. the slow undoing. i could handle the day, the week, the month. but year after year of it, over and over, a slow crawl over sandpaper.

sometimes it was okay, but it was never better than okay, even on an excellent day. nothing good hit me. i’d do the act, get right the dancing. i’d go on adventures and make friends and watch good movies. and none of it touched me. even when i was laughing.

and when it was awful, oh god, it was awful. there’s a lower than low, and i always found it. i always found a way to feel worse. 

crpl-pnk:

i want men to be able to emotionally connect with people they don’t plan on having sex with. i want men to stop assuming i am planning on having sex with them because i make an effort to engage with them emotionally. i want men to stop feeling personally betrayed by the fact that i engage deeply & genuinely with people regardless of whether i desire them sexually, because i value people & seek to understand & connect with them regardless of sexual attraction

nurseydcx:

where’s my grandparent who will peacefully die of old age and give me a note only to open when i need it, revealing that they have gifted me their old farm that i can use to escape to if i ever need a reprieve from capitalist corporate life, in an idyllic town with lovely villagers and also a wizard